this is a silent night
and there is no one here to remind me of why i've come back
or why i left
and i'm here again, trying to figure out what i'm supposed to do
   with all this
trying to not know what i know
and all the things i don't want to know
and you are so far away from me
both of you
all three of you
far, far away from where i'm thinking about leaving again
thinking about going to some other choice
if there is some other choice

one two three four five six seven eight nine ten

breathe out

count to ten

can i tell you what i've been thinking about lately? i know that
   we are very different and the chances of you and me
   actually lasting past dream time is slim like a cowboy. this
   is a country where only the brave come home. only the
   good die young. only the lonely can play. apple pie all

last night i had a dream of darkness
and i couldn't breathe
and when i woke up i was choking myself
psychologists call them night terrors



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